Why women have affairs?
Speak about a loaded issue that no one wants to talk about, this is it. Amusing thing, married dating have been going on since millennium. Extramarital affairs can be filled with problems, cause misery, and other troubles. Plus you should wrap your brain around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty matter, money, age dissimilarity, spiritual upbringing, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this post I will define an affair as a long term, maybe decades long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, dating married men.
Why do married people have affairs? There are as many reasons as there are seeking affairs. I am conserned typically though it is just the human condition, the need for liking, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and cherished. Here are a several explanations I have run across.
Biologically we as human beings are all sexual creatures. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasurable and fun, and sex makes us escape the world for a small period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody are able to turn the desire on and off, some are good at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another person, for some it is the wish to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the whole romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they overcome the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will defeat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the catalyst?
Sex Addicts, perhaps some of us are. Sex is horribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of biologically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not hurt your family or anybody else? You will need to reduce the danger you are taking. If you have the approach that a good affair is one that is beneficial to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, enormous really. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, but they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the children to look after. Your finances are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to stay together besides love and sex.
Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical reasons that stop them completing the sex act, at least not with their othere half. An affair from time to time solves the difficulty while keeping the marriage intact.
Ignoring, sadly this is a ordinary reason I fear. One or the other, usually the gentleman is sexually neglecting his wife for a number of reasons. As a male I actually am thankful to you guys neglecting your girls and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “milfs” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be caring is gone, maybe it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Could be we have simply grown separately, our ordinary interests diverged. Maybe it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my life, is diverce of what you want. Could be I just don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The number one reason people give is, they look for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for vengeance and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.